Purple on the prose? Sir, you do vex with your linguistic gymnastics this day! :)
I'm a civil servant - writing for an audience is part of what I do.

Don't forget I was responsible for Patricia Hewitt's immortal words in 1999 "We must close the digital divide, so that everyone can reap the benefits of living in an e-nation". I was taking the piss, but no-one noticed!
Isn't it painful when those little jokes make it to press? :/ ... :)
[FX: Entirely involuntary shudder]

Jayzus. I think I just pulled something.