Suffering from slowpageload, I read that as the 'the lard that loved me'.

I hope you bought it.
As intrigued as I was to find out just *how* bad a book could be I could bring myself to foist it further up whatever best sellers list it has already climbed.
Handsome Alexander MacLean enjoyed his intoxicating flirtation with lovely Caitlyn Hurst...until she embarrassed him in front of the entire ton. Orchestrating Caitlyn's attendance at a fashionable house party, Alexander plots her downfall. But to his fury, her charm and wit thwart his plan to ruin her.

Her disastrous London season left Caitlyn filled with regret and determined to make things right with Alexander. She's delighted to find him at the house party to which she's unexpectedly invited -- but it's clear that the sexy, arrogant Highlander hasn't forgiven her. So Caitlyn comes up with a bold scheme, proposing an unusual contest drawn from legend: each must complete a set of "mythic" tasks. If Caitlyn succeeds, Alexander promises to relent and forgive her previous rash behavior; if he succeeds, she will join him in his bed! But can Caitlyn force Alexander to give up his quest for vengeance without giving up her heart in return?

Please excuse me while I go and be very, very sick.
Were you ever to meet such a Scotsman I concede it could be a problem. :)
I'm enjoying how his kilt is slowly being ripped off by some sort of mystic force...